Spontaneous Combustion

Spontaneous combustion is defined as is a type of combustion which occurs without an external ignition source. It is usually a slow process that can take several hours of decomposition/oxidation with heat build up to a point of ignition.

Unless, of course, you happen to live in St. Louis, MO. At the confluence of two major rivers. With like eleventy bajillion percent humidity. And yes, I stole that number from someone else, and yes, it's a valid unit of measurement for anything.

Then, spontaneous combustion happens the second you walk out the front door of your office in the afternoon, on a nice Tuesday afternoon in early August. When the air temperature is 102 and the heat index is 117, a human being can actually burst into flame immediately.

And I don't have anything else to write about because I'm currently recovering from my own case of spontaneous human combustion.