Apparently, I have an inherent desire to bring misery and despair upon myself whenever possible. This is going to be long, so get some bourbon and a taco and settle in.
I come from a very large, very blended family. I have 2 biological brothers, 3 step-brothers, 2 sisters-in-law, 2 step-sisters-in-law, 1 step-brother-in-law. 1 dad, 1 mom, 2 fathers-in-law, 2 mothers-in-law. 11 nieces and nephews, 2 god-daughters. An amazing best friend, whose mother is like a mother to me. 12 aunts and uncles, 30+ cousins. You get the picture. We believe in supporting one another, especially in times of trial or tribulation.
Jimmy comes from the exact opposite. He's an only child with 3 step-siblings (my aforementioned step sibs-in-law). He has 1 uncle/aunt and 2 cousins, 3 second cousins. And his MeMaw. They are not close-knit, and there's a lot of arguing and animosity. He's 15+ years older than his step-sibs, so he didn't grow up with them and doesn't have that sibling relationship.
Jimmy and I have been together for 8 years now, and during that 8 years, I have watched as his dad & stepmom have treated him like the red-headed stepchild of the family. They drag up all of his past indiscretions (he's almost 45, yo, he partied in the '80's...the decade of bad decisions) and throw them in his face whenever they feel like. Today was the LAST STRAW. I sent an angry, angry, angry email, but we'll get to that later.
Let's start this in August 2009. Jimmy had to have an emergency double bypass, and was off work (unpaid) for 12 weeks. During that time, we obviously fell into some serious financial trouble. My parents each helped out tremendously, as much as they were able. Without a single question or word of guilt. Because, you know, that's what family does. At least in my family.
So Jimmy went back to work and we got back on track. Until about April of this year. Then he started having problems with his back. At first, we thought it was his kidneys, but no. It took 2 months of different doctors to find out that his problem was with his back, not his kidneys. He went on medical leave AGAIN beginning June 3rd. He got approved for his back surgery and had that procedure on Sept. 16th. Smashing success, and he went back to work on October 18th.
November 8th, he gets fired. For a variety of reasons, which I cannot post here due to legal constraints at this time, I feel that he was targeted due to his medical leave. And we all know that this is a very bad time to be unemployed. Combine the shitty job market with the fact that Unemployment is still fucking around and haven't approved his claim as yet, and we are totally broke. Because Momma doesn't make a whole lot of money.
We are stressed to the limit here, man. Class A, Code Red, Level One Xanax Emergency stressed out. He's frustrated about no job and no money, I'm frustrated about no money, the tension level is totally out of whack. So he called his mom to see if she could help. Let me say here that his mom is LOADED. She & her husband live in a gated community in South Florida, they travel 75% of the time, just for fun. They are not hurting for money in any way. His mom says "Sure, son. How about, instead of sending you material gifts for Christmas, I just send you the money I was going to spend instead?" Perfect. That will make a huge difference. She says she'll send it out this weekend.
She then proceeded to call Jimmy's dad and tell him that Jimmy called asking for financial help. I guess to see why his dad wasn't helping. His dad then calls Jimmy and completely loses it on him. Basically tells him he's a lazy piece of shit because he hasn't found a job yet (it's been 5 weeks, and his dad was on UE for well over a year, so FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR) and needs to get his head out of his ass. Basically says that Jimmy is lucky that I'm still sticking around and that I can do better, and Jimmy deserves it if I leave him.
EXCUSE ME??? This was the last straw for me. How dare he call my husband, HIS ONLY SON, and lose it on him like that? When he was unemployed himself for over a year!!
So. I sent an angry, angry email and basically cut my ties with them. I have watched his dad & stepmom treat him like shit for 8 fucking years, yo. 8 YEARS. I've sat back and taken it all this time, but today? No, sir. I refuse to allow them to treat my husband like he's a piece of shit stuck to their shoes. His step-sibs, it's like they can do no wrong. His step-brother had a hit-n-run DWI accident a few years ago, and they paid amost $25K to get it taken off his record. HIT N RUN DWI, PEOPLE. TWENTY FIVE GRAND. We're asking for a piddly $500.
They check up on us on the internet on this thing called Missouri Case Net. Because we've both got a couple of financial issues on there (we have both been sued by creditors due to inability to pay bills other than rent/utils). They blab our personal financial issues to the rest of the family during family dinners. They constantly bring up shit from like 10 years ago and throw it in Jimmy's face. And I've had enough. Especially after I learned tonight that when they misplaced their expensive jewels after a trip to the Bahamas earlier in the year, they contacted the cops because they thought someone got into their house and stole them, AND THEY TOLD THE COPS TO CHECK OUT ME & JIMMY BECAUSE WE ARE FINANCIALLY UNSTABLE AND MIGHT HAVE STOLEN THEM TO HOCK THEM FOR THE MONEY. WHAT THE FUCK.
So tonight...I cut ties. I sent a very well-thought out, well written email laying out all of the issues I have with them and their treatment of Jimmy and me. I told them I will no longer be coming to family events and wish to have no further contact with them. I'll go to Christmas at MeMaw's next weekend, because MeMaw loves Jimmy and me, and she's got nothing to do with this. But I will no longer subject myself to their bullshit.
Fast forward to 7pm tonight, when I finally got home from work. Jimmy's on the phone with his dad & stepmom, both of whom are pissed at me for having the audacity to call them on their bullshit and double standards (because step-mom's kids shit puppies and fart rainbows, don't you know). Then they start claiming "Oh we weren't conscious of the fact that we treat you differently than the others." Yeah...because you've been doing it FOREVER.
I absolutely abhor having discord within the family. I hate that it has come to this. I told Jimmy that if he wishes to still have a relationship with them, since it is his dad & stepmom, that's on him. But I choose to remove myself from their world. I refuse to sit by and let someone kick me and my husband when we're down. I don't deserve it, and I won't stand for it.
